Posted on 24/02/2023 in Dorothy Says

Let’s Review, Shall We?

6-minute read

Can a hater help you? One of mine did. I’ll tell you how in a minute or two because today we’re talking about the outside world and your writing.

No matter where you are in the publishing process – just starting to send your stuff ‘out there’ to agents and publishers, just about to give it to readers if you’re self-publishing, about to be published for the first time, or even if it’s your 10th book/story to hit the shelves – you are going to find a lot of people will be commenting on what you produce.

And, fair warning, it won’t always be positive.

With my first two books – The Cupid Effect and The Chocolate Run – the first time around, hardly anyone knew about them. And because of their relative invisibility, while I got a few nice (and cherished) emails and letters, no one had anything particularly malign to say about them. (Apart from everyone rejecting The Cupid Effect – twice, but that’s for another letter.)

However, my third book, My Best Friend’s Girl, made quite a splash when it hit the shelves, and with every iota of success and praise it brought my way, there seemed to be a huge sting of negativity and vitriol to go with it.

People seemed to be lining up to diss my book.

At that point, I used to read ALL of my reviews and the bad ones hurt. A lot. They seemed personal, targeted and just plain mean. For NO REASON!

How did I cope – except sobbing into my giant bag of Maltesers (I could eat gluten back then)? Well, I asked a few trusted people what they really thought of the accusations levelled at my books.

These were the people – including my editor and my agent – who I could really rely on to be honest with me, even if it was not what I wanted to hear. And they told me they believed in the book and me.

Around the same time, one particular hater wrote a review saying how my book was so bad that when it came to them getting a book published, they’d have no trouble.

That’s when my upset turned to side-clutching laughter. That person had no clue what it took to get published! No clue! ‘Good luck with that,’ I thought, then laughed myself sick and got on with my published writing life.

Thank you hater! Now go away, OK? I’ve surrounded myself with the right people and you’re not one of them.

Thing is, not everyone is going to like what you do. That’s a fact.

But I know that every one of my books is ‘out there’ because I have tried my hardest. Some people might not like them, but there is nothing I could have done to make it better. I may privately acknowledge someone’s lack of love but I’ll also shrug my shoulders because I know there’s nothing I can do to change their (wrong) opinion.

I should also say: no matter how tempting, no matter how goady, I rarely respond to negative feedback from ‘out there’. I may privately re-evaluate what I’ve done and see if they have a point. If they do, I’ll remind myself for next time, but I won’t get involved with arguing back, nor do I try to get other people to bully those who are critical of my work.

I know, it will ALWAYS makes me look bad.

Long after people have forgotten how nasty the reviewer or publisher or agent or whoever was to you in the first place, they will ALWAYS judge you as the over-sensitive author who can’t take potentially legitimate feedback. Hopefully, among the people who are around you, you’ll have someone who’ll tell you to stop, rather than encourage you to continue to behave badly if you do ‘bite’. (I have in mind one particular person who is currently doing irreparable damage to their reputation when I write this. Please learn from their horrific example and DON’T DO THIS!)

So that is how to deal with your work being out there: surround yourself with the right people.

When I say surround yourself with the right people, I don’t mean your parents, siblings or your best friend from school. They won’t want to hurt your feelings and they should like everything you do as a default.

The right ones are the people who want you to succeed and will be – gently – honest. If you don’t have an editor or agent, try setting up an online or in-person writing group where you meet and share your writing. If you do this, though, make sure you all agree beforehand:

• that you only want the best for each other and will celebrate everyone’s success even if your success hasn’t arrived yet
• that you will only offer constructive feedback
• that some things will not be for you, so if you can’t offer constructive feedback, you’ll say nothing
• that you won’t writing shame people who don’t manage to hit their targets
• that you’ll always be supportive.

So, this week’s writing prompt is this: Check if you have the right, supportive people around you. If you haven’t, how can you change that?

Really looking forward to getting your word count/writing news.

Talk to you soon.

Dorothy x

(Please excuse typos – I’m only human!)

PS Don’t forget: you can pre-order a signed copy of My Other Husband here and unsigned copies here and here to make sure it arrives in your life as soon as possible after it’s released.